the broken shoe

At first glance, you might think this is a perfectly lovely display of decor and treasures in my daughter's room.  But did you notice the shoe on the bottom right side of the shelves?  My contribution to that shelf was the picture of her and her brother and the sunshine plaque.  The rest are her favorite things.

That silver shoe used to be part of a pair, of course.  Two silver, sparkly shoes that had a beautiful satin bow across the toes.  They were her favorite shoes and she would wear them nearly every day, rain or shine.  But like all shoes, they wore out.  The sparkly fabric started to fray and the bottom of the shoe was coming off of the top of it.  We tried gluing it but it was really starting to come undone.  She insisted on wearing them until they were literally falling off her feet.

We went to the store to get her new sparkly shoes.  They weren't nearly as beautiful as the current ones, no satin bow, no shiny fabric.  I headed to the garbage to deposit the old shoes when Maci snatched the better one of the pair from my hands and cried, "No!  I want to keep this one!"  "But we already bought you new shoes," I insisted.  "These are garbage now."  But she persisted.  She said that she wanted to keep it and put it on her shelf at home because it was a beautiful shoe.  I pointed out how the fabric was worn and how the lip was coming off.  She didn't care.  She said it was beautiful and since she couldn't wear them anymore, she wanted to be able to still enjoy them.  I relented and we took the shoe home.

It has been sitting on that shelf for well over a month now.  If you know me, you know that I'm quite particular about my home decor and keeping a ratty shoe on display is not exactly my style.  But there was a beautiful message in this piece of decoration that I wanted to treasure.

My daughter is the type of free-spirited girl that sees the images in the negative spaces.  She sees what isn't seen by most, and although she's not a huge fan of history and academics, she loves biographical story books about people who pushed against the norm and accomplished great things.  Books about Einstein, Amelia Earhart, Rosa Park, Helen Keller, Martin Luther King Jr. etc.  I keep telling her that her perspectives on life will change the world someday.  They're already changing mine.

The idea that the old shoe still maintains its beauty is nothing short of God's perspective and it's a point of view that more of us need to adopt.  Everything that God created was beautiful and it was good.  We are all created in His image and we are beautiful and good.  But life takes its toll on us and we get worn down and worn out.  And sometimes, others may have trouble seeing our value.  But if you look carefully, past the effects of time and age, you can see what they were meant to be and what they still are.

I know this is a cheesy sort of message to write about, but as I was putting away some laundry in her room this morning, I saw the little shoe again and realized how unfair I have been to some of God's creation.  Some of His people have lost some of their glitter in my eyes.  And I can definitely see the negative effects that this life has had on them.  And to be quite honest, I don't keep those people in my life.  Because you can't keep wearing a broken shoe without it taking a toll on your foot, you know what I'm saying?

But what if, rather than tossing them into no-man's-land, I set them aside to remember them as God intended?  Wow...seriously, that's kind of profound right now.

Think about it.  There are people who have done some serious damage in my life and I have had to take a step away from them because if I had stayed, I would be more damaged, myself.  I did what I needed to do to function properly.  But in the process of removing their damaging effects from my life, I also removed all the good memories.  I thought it would be easier that way.  And it is easier.  For me.  But what about my God?  How does it affect and grieve Him when I dismiss one of His children as "garbage" when He gave His own precious life for them?

He is desperate to show us how much He treasures us and we, as His representatives, sometimes do a poor job of perpetuating that love to all of His children.  What would happen, if we loved even those that we could no longer maintain in our lives?  What kind of world would it be?

I pray that God grants me the vision to see beyond the scratches and the worn-out edges and see the souls of the ones for which He died.

and so much more

Every time I take a break from my blog writing, I increase the writing in my personal journal because I just have to write something.  Lately my journals have been more along the lines of poetry...poetry put to a melody, actually.

Sometimes I sit down and decide that I'm going to write a song about something. But many times, it just comes to me.  I don't know if my songs have a lot of listening value for people that aren't my friends, but it's still a pretty cool gift to receive from God.  The songs are from Him and they fill my heart with gratitude for His endless thoughtfulness.  

Today, on my drive home from Everett, I was thinking about the "I am" phrases found in the book of John and a little melody started playing in my brain, I am your light, I am your hope, I'm all those things and so much more....

I came home and wrote the rest of the song but felt like there was no way it was inclusive of all that He was.  He really was so much more...

The Bible identifies over 200 names used for Jesus.  Savior, Redeemer, Mighty God, Jehovah, Prince of Peace, Shiloh, Shepherd, the Great I Am are just samples.  So many names.  So many titles.  So many job descriptions.  And yet, like numbers that have no end, neither do His names have an end.  It would be interesting to note how many of those titles I have personally experienced. I'm hoping it's every one of them.  

In addition to those glorious titles, though, He's also been a shoulder, an audience, a spark, a stop sign, an editor, a song, eyeglasses, and so much more. 

But He's also been a punching bag.  He's been a forgotten friend.  He's been abandoned and accused and doubted.  He's been lonely and He's been waiting.  He's been patient and faithful and forgiving and so much more.  

But through it all...

He's been mine.  

And that's the most amazing thing.  I don't deserve a treasure like that.  And yet He is.  And will always be.  The God the keeps giving without measure.  When I reflect on Who He is, I can understand, with more clarity, how we will be in a constant state of perpetual praise for the rest of eternity.  That's fine with me.  I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.  

I finished recording the song so you can listen to it now too.  

weeds

A weed is but an unloved flower?  Really?

In my gardener's mind, weeds are sin, growing at exponential rates, emboldened by our environment to proliferate and destroy good fruit.  So that'd be like saying, "A sin is but an unloved quality attribute."  I don't think so.

I planted vegetables from seeds, this year, and watched them sprout and grow.  I would water them regularly and check on them often.  They were doing great.  Then I was gone from my garden for a couple weeks and I returned to find the garden overrun with weeds, making my seedlings practically invisible.  I started working on the garden, over the next couple of weeks, whenever I had time and it wasn't raining.  But the weeds continued to grow at insane rates before I could address them.  

Yesterday I finally finished clearing out the plots with my carrots and beets and pickling cucumbers.  But by that time, the weeds were enormous!  Some were 15 inches tall and completely overshadowing all my plants.  My beet tops are about 8 inches tall so they're not seedlings anymore, but they were still completely hidden from sight.  I'm glad to say that my garden finally looks like a garden again (at least for now.)

As I was working at these weeds, hour after hour, I kept thinking to myself, These weeds are sin.  I hate them.  Because just like the sin in our lives, if we neglect to bring them to God, the sin will literally overrun the good fruit that God is growing in our lives.  In other words, it is possible for a "heart garden" to contain God's good fruit as well as sin.  And others can enjoy the blessings of our fruit, too, even if the weeds are bigger than the fruit.  But the fruit won't grow to full capacity and some of it may never grow at all, unless the weeds are removed.

But here's the problem, once the weeds are as big as mine were, trying to remove them is actually stressful on the good fruit.  As I pulled out weeds that were growing right next to my beet root, the soil around the plant would loosen and my beet plant would kind of wilt over.  I thought, Oh no!  I've ruined my plants because I tried to remove the sin-weeds too late.  But unwilling to give up on my plants, I kind of replanted them by tucking them back into the soil and readjusting their positions.  At the end of the day, all the leaves were just laying there, exhausted from the stress they sustained.  I added lots of water and hoped for the best.  By the next day, they were strong and the leaves were extended toward the heavens as if in praise to God for their clear patch of ground that now facilitated their desire to reach towards the sun.

So I was reassured that it's not impossible to target the sin in our lives after it's overgrown, but it will take some extra effort, for sure.  And that's all good and well and we already know that.  But what struck me the most was how much faster and successfully the weeds would grow.  I do not believe weeds are unloved flowers.  There has got to be some biological structure of a weed that is different from a plant because of its proliferation rate and ability to grow regardless of the environment.  During my break from gardening, yesterday, my friend and I were talking about these weeds and how, like sin, they overrun the good fruit.  She said, "It's because everything in the environment encourages their growth because this is a sinful world."  And that's the truth, isn't it?  Weeds will naturally grow. Sin will naturally take root because this is the world in which we live.

When God cursed the earth and told Adam and Eve that it would be through toil that they would produce food, I believe He was trying to remind them of the nature of sin.  He wasn't trying to punish them and make them suffer.  He doesn't want us to suffer.  He just wants us to remember.  He wants us not to neglect the tending of our hearts.  He wants to make sure that we see, firsthand, how destructive sin can be if it is allowed to run free.

The seeds of sin are already in the soil.  They are standard-issue in these gardens of ours.  We can invite Jesus to pick them out whenever they grow but they'll just come back, from the neighboring gardens, from the seeds the birds drop, and so on.  Our only safeguard is to invite Him to tend it on a regular basis.  And when we do?  Wow!  The fruit that is produced is fantastic!  A garden plot near mine is entirely weed free and their beets are the size of small apples, whereas mine are the size of radish wannabes.  I have hope, though, for a full harvest of beets, now that they can see the sun.

All I really want to say is:  Please don't neglect the tending of your heart because everything in this world encourages the growth of sin.  Sin is not just an unloved flower.  Don't ever believe that kind of nonsense.  It is the kind of thing that chokes out the fruit that God is growing.  Invite the Master Gardener into your garden every day so that it can be a place of rest and enjoyment.

In the Garden has always been one of my favorite hymns.  I love the idea of my garden being the place where God and I meet and walk together (while the dew is still on the roses).  That image is so peaceful and inviting.  The Gardener tends our gardens and then it becomes the perfect place to spend time with Him, away from the harsh environment of the world.  It can be our little piece of Heaven, where we can commune with God and enjoy His presence.  I want that.  I want to get to the place where He isn't constantly working on the weeds, but where I can take the time to enjoy His glory.