Thursday, December 10, 2015

not just a submissive girl


I was thinking about Jesus' mother the other day when I was telling my kids the story of the birth.  I have read them the Christmas story many times, from many different books, but this time I just told them the story and we talked about it together.  As a result, many new realizations came to light. The thing that stood out the most for me was how trusting Mary seemed to be.  My kids and I discussed whether we would be capable of so much trust and faith and submissiveness.  I think we came to the conclusion that we probably might not be.

Mary accepted God's work without really giving it a lot of thought.  She didn't listen to what the angel said and then respond, "Okay, I hear what you're saying but I'm going to need to think about this for a while.  Can you give me a few days?"  She didn't stop to consider the rejection she would receive from the village because of a pregnancy out of wedlock.  She didn't stop to consider how this would affect her family and their standing in the community, or her future husband and how it would dishonor him.  She didn't stop to consider the fact that they were incredibly poor and wonder how they would ever fund an education for the King of the universe.  She didn't even stop to consider what the angel meant when he said Jesus would be the Savior of the world.  So many of the disciples needed so much instruction on understanding the purpose of the Messiah, so how would Mary, a young girl, have understood that?

I'll be honest, it doesn't sound like she gave this the appropriate amount of deliberation, but was rather submissive and compliant, instead. Is that why God chose her?  Is that why she was so highly favored?  Because she didn't put up a fight?  Maybe God knew, ahead of time, that she would be submissive and that's why He chose her.  But that can't be right.  God doesn't seem to make a habit of choosing the compliant ones.  When Sarah learned she was going to have Isaac, she laughed.  When Zechariah learned his wife would have John, he doubted.  When Jonah got the call to go to Nineveh, he refused. When Elijah was told to confront Jezebel, he ran away and hid.  When Moses was invited to speak for Israel, he claimed a speech impediment.  See?  God's people aren't always compliant and easy to work with.

Did Mary really understand all the ramifications of raising the Savior of the world?  I highly doubt it. She was young, inexperienced, and uneducated in the ways of the world.  She was a mere child. So then, why Mary?  Why did God choose her?  Was it just because she was a gentle, little girl that would be quick to submit?

Yes, I think that's it.

Now before you get all worked up, here me out.  Mary was submissive, she was compliant, she was willing to serve, to please, to be used.  I believe she was all those things because Mary understood something that so few of us actually understand.  She understood that serving the King of the Universe was an honor.  She may not have known what this life would hold for her.  She probably didn't consider all the struggles they would encounter.  She just knew that to serve the King was a privilege far greater than anything the world could offer.

I believe her submission was set to be an example for all women, for the remainder of earth's existence.  It was to be the spotlight that would shine on different periods of history in an effort to expose the deterioration of the woman's privilege.  Oh dear, it sounds like I'm saying that serving is a privilege and that the act of submitting is a thing to protect and work towards.  And this kind of talk is just nuts and shouldn't be spoken in this day and age of women's liberation and suffrage and all things feminist.  Equality for men and women is all the rage now.

And yet...when God created His people, He created them with the desire to serve Him.  They were placed in the garden to serve His creation, to care for it, to tend to it, to create families and continue to serve God by inviting their children to know Him and love Him too.

Our society has reduced the beauty of servitude to a position of lowliness and humiliation.  But Jesus - the Savior of the world and Creator of all people - tried desperately to restore His intention and stepped out against society's norms to serve His disciples and even wash their feet.  I don't think we can comprehend how offensive that was to so many of them.  It probably rattled them on levels we can't even grasp.  And what a bold thing to throw out at them right before the most horrific night of their lives?  But Jesus was desperate to reeducate them; His time was running out.

Jesus was eager to teach them that submission and servitude was a sacred privilege, not a burden.  A privilege motivated by extreme love and devotion.  I believe Mary knew this truth.  She knew what it meant to love God.  How?  I don't know because the Bible doesn't say anything about her upbringing.  But something about her heart was open and receptive to God's love and her desire to serve Him was evidenced in her response to the angel.  "I am the Lord's servant."  Luke 1:38.

If only....

If only women stopped fighting for equality...

If only they realized that the devil, himself, was physically kicked out of heaven because of his fight for equality with God...

If only they accepted that God arranged a hierarchy for a sacred purpose...

If only they embraced that purpose and set an example for their children when submitting to their husbands...

If only they could teach their children that women are not below the men, but instead they have a sacred purpose to reveal an eternal truth to all humanity and to the universe...

If only they trusted that their all-loving, all-caring Creator and Lover would be the ultimate authority and protector of their hearts and lives...

... then there would be many more Mary's in this world.  And God's message of love and redemption would have avenues through which to flow and reach a world filled with hurting people, and God's protection would be extended far wider than anything we could imagine.

I know, I know, the whole idea of submission to husbands is so upsetting and disturbing.  But has anyone stopped to consider why we're so offended by this?  Could it - maybe - have something to do with the enemy's design and his ability to distort all of God's instructions?  And if that's a possibility, doesn't this topic warrant careful study and prayer, rather than dismissal and indignation?  (of course, our distain for this idea is also directly related to the imperfection of the men, but let's not go there right now...).

I can tell you, with honesty, that I resisted the whole "submission" thing for many years in my marriage and it contributed, significantly, to the alienation of God at the center of my heart and home.  For the most part, I was pretty submissive.  People who don't know me well doubt that's true because I was so much more social and verbal than my ex who appeared so quiet and meek to them.  Truth is, when it came time to submit, I did.  I felt like I had no choice, and those who actually know me, know this to be true.  I didn't submit out of love or desire to serve.  I did it because I felt trapped.

And so performing the action of servitude without love is actually just rubbish and it leaves little room for God to work.  But when I studied and applied the concepts of submission and serving, a few years ago, I was amazed at how much more fulfilled I felt as a wife and daughter of God.  I had joy that was indescribable even though the brokenness of the marriage was coming into the light.  But I continued on, convinced that my joyful submission would enable God to step in, with a mighty hand, and restore the brokenness.  I was confident that all I needed to do was be a willing servant for God and He would set my path straight.  And I can testify that He did just that.

Many people have considered my divorce to be a failure on my part, and I understand how people see it because I, too, have unfairly judged others for "giving up" or failing.  But I stand in the confidence that it was only when I finally submitted all authority to my spouse that God was able to do His work.  By finally granting the ex all authority in the home, I was no longer standing in the way of God's hand.  He was free to expose whatever needed to be exposed.  And it was through my ex's response to that authority that the darkness was revealed.  God did step in with a mighty hand.  I am here, today, as a testimony of that.  Did things get set right like I hoped they would?  Well, not exactly as I hoped they would.  I actually desired a restoration of my marriage commitment. But did things get set right?  Yes, they did.  In a very unexpected way, they did.

And it saddens me to consider all the time I wasted fighting God; all the time I resisted His invitation to submit.  I thought I had to be the one to protect my children and my rights as a human being; those were the only things for which I fought.  I gave in to everything else, but my children and myself?  Those were tough things to give up especially when it was obvious, to intimate observers, that the actions of my ex were so wrong and so twisted.  And I thought that God was too distant, too uninvolved and that I needed to be the one to fight.  I fought in spirit, I fought on my knees, I fought in tears, but it was all a waste of my energy because He was standing there waiting for me to fall into His arms instead.  And I finally did when I was completely and utterly spent.  I could have saved myself so much heartache and pain if I had given up the fight earlier.  And had I waited another week or two to give up the fight?  I shudder to think of the possibilities.  All I will say is that God protected my life because I finally gave Him my life. 

My God is my husband, and any earthly man that would assume that position stands in God's shadow.  He is only a man and my loyalty and honor pass through him only to get to my God.  And he answers to God, alone.  Some men think that it's all roses and sunshine to find a woman who will be submissive to them, but do they take the time to consider that they represent Jesus to their wives?  And failure to do that, properly, would result in them sanding before God, the Judge?  Our job as wives is to submit to their authority, with blessed assurance that God will be the One that responds to our needs, and that's a breeze because we know God to be exceptionally faithful.  Plus we have Jesus as our advocate.  But men?  Oh, dear!  They have it way more challenging.  They need to serve their wives as Christ served His church.  And when I say "His church," I'm referring to that ragged group of imperfect, out-spoken, confused, misguided bunch of societal challenges.

Suddenly, being the submissive one doesn't sound like such a difficult job....

So, what is this greater, sacred purpose for which submission is to direct us?

What if... through this design, God is showing the universe that it IS possible for His people to serve Him out of intense love and that hierarchy is not something to despise?  What if the rest of the universe is waiting, with bated breath, to see if we will turn out like the devil and demand equality, or if we can find joy and peace and comfort and assurance in that design?  That is heaven's design after all.  The enemy tried to destroy it and reduce God and WE are given the sacred purpose of testifying to it's fairness and beauty.  And the only reason we resist is because men are rarely good examples of Christ.  What a weak excuse.  Where is our faith in God's design?  Where is our trust in His saving power?

I thank God for the example of Mary.  So many of God's servants were not quick to submit.  But when He selected a servant to carry His Son, to submit to His plan and raise the One that would restore the meaning of servitude, He chose someone that would embrace His message.  Well done, God.  Well done.

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