They're just drunk

So here's something interesting about non-believers:  They can SEE a miracle of God and literally dismiss it with ridicule.  

They are actual WITNESSES to these miracles and still they mock.  That just blows me away.  That tells me that it takes more than just a miracle to win a person to Jesus.  The heart of the unbeliever needs to make some effort toward a connection with Jesus.  At least in some small way.  Perhaps they recognize they are not perfect.  Perhaps they see a deficiency they want to address but don't know how to begin.  Perhaps they answer a prompting on their conscience to reconcile a past relationship.  Or maybe they've just been beaten down with the consequences of their own sins and are looking up for a way out.  In all these cases, they may not recognize that it's God that they are searching for but at least something is opened up in their hearts.  Something, anything.  God doesn't need a VIP invitation, He just needs them to look upwards and not inwards at themselves.  God seeks all those that are broken but He can't reach them until they look away from themselves and towards a characteristic of Jesus.

So when the Holy Spirit was poured out on the apostles (in a quiet and personal way, by the way) they began to speak in other languages.  The people of Jerusalem heard the sound of them speaking and rushed to hear what was going on.  They literally heard their own languages.  And I'm sure many spoke more than one language so they were able to hear all the languages they knew in one place.  They were amazed.  

When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken.  Utterly amazed, they asked: "Aren't all these who are speaking Galileans?  Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language?"  Acts 2:6-8

Well, there's only one solid explanation for such a miraculous and amazing situation:  they must be drunk. 

That sounds ridiculous and yet that's what the Bible says the people were saying.  But others in the crowd ridiculed them, saying, "They're just drunk, that's all!" Acts 2:13

Again, that just blows my mind!  How unfaithful are these mockers that they would mock the Holy Spirit in His very presence?  Is it in their experience to start speaking other languages when they've had too much too drink?  I doubt that's the case, so how is it that they would come up with such a conclusion?

At first I thought that they were just plain evil because it's always the devil's attempt to take a miracle of God and reduce it with ridicule, not even addressing the actual situation, but just finding a way to diminish the visible power by drawing attention away to self-glorification.  Because that's all that bullying and mockery really is.  It's drawing attention to the one making fun of the person.  It attempts to reduce the victim and puff themselves up in an "I'm-so-much-better-than-you-that-I-can-put-you-down" kind of way.  Yeah, that sounds like one of the enemy's tactics.  

But what if that wasn't the case at all?  What if God shut their ears and to them it DID seem like babbling and drunkenness?  

Isaiah says, Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes.  Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.  Isaiah 6:10

That seems like such a harsh thing to say.  And yet Jesus goes ahead and repeats it in Matthew 13.  The disciples asked why He was speaking in parables and He said that Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.  And then He goes on to quote that same passage in Isaiah 6:10.

You see, the thing is that the Word of God is not to be spoon-fed.  It is a hunt, a search, a constant seeking.  One website reports that there are 77 verses in the Bible about seeking God, another website says 83.  In any case, that's a lot of instruction telling us to seek.  And seeking is not just like, "Oh I just read the Bible and now I understand everything there is to know about Jesus and I'm going to heaven and I'm awesome."  Reading it is rarely enough.  For the same reason that a teacher won't just read a textbook to a child and then expect them to have mastered the concepts enough to teach it to others.  They study it, they look at the bold-face words and learn what they mean (not just that they exist).  They discuss it, in small groups, sometimes as a class.  They do projects and reports on it.  They present their findings.  They don't just read the textbook.  

Many open their Bible textbook and just read through, or listen to the Bible on a cd, but they never study it.  They don't seem to desire to actually discuss it or apply it to their lives.  They think it's enough just to read it.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love to listen to my Bible too, sometimes when I'm driving or cleaning the house or whatever.  I love that we have the Bible in an audio version.  And sometimes I love to just read the verses of the day from my various favorite websites.  And those are beautiful things to do in quiet times.  But I will admit that I don't grow very much during those times.  And that's why when I listen to the Bible, I choose something that I've already studied so that I can reinforce my learnings.  And the truth is, that if I don't apply the verse of the day to my life or pray it into my spirit somehow, it really does nothing for me.  It's more like just seeing a picture of an old friend and being like, "Oh hey, I loved that guy!  What great times we had."  

I decided to study the book of Revelation one day.  So in my quiet (yet hands-busy) times, I listened to the entire book on my iPhone.  A friend of mine knew I was planning to study Revelation and asked how it was going.  I told her that I was almost through it.  But the lie stung just a bit because although it was true that I was almost done listening to it, I had made zero progress in understanding any of it. I could recall nothing from what I had heard as I listened to it.  

But in an effort to redeem myself here, I must let you know that I did finally open my Bible, highlighters in hand, internet open as well, and study some the passages and their implications in my life after I finished listening to it.  And for me, THAT is "studying" the Bible, not just reading it.  

Jesus knew that there were many people who were eager for "blessings" by osmosis, just by being near the Blessed One or just reading the Blessed Scriptures.  But that's not how His knowledge and salvation works.  One must desire a deeper understanding and knowledge of God and not just the blessings and rewards that come with that knowledge and understanding.  

Understanding and knowledge of Jesus is more precious than gold and more costly than jewels.  

The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul.  The statues of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.  The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are radiant giving light to the eyes.  The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous.  They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb.  Psalm 19:7-10

This knowledge of God is exceptionally valuable and a gift to those who seek Him.  

To those who are not seeking Him, their eyes and ears are closed.  Yes, that's harsh.  But that's what the Bible says. 

So I urge to you study the Scriptures, not just read them.  So that your eyes and ears can stay open and so that you don't find yourself mocking the Holy Spirit in His presence.  Because He IS at work, and He IS displaying Himself in amazing ways.  In my own personal experience, I have seen people who profess to be believers literally mock the movements of the Lord and attribute His miracles to ridiculous explanations, just like the people of Jerusalem thought the apostles were drunk.  But now I know that they were not just being dumb.  (Because really, they sound so dumb when they claim that speaking fluently in another language is a result of drunkenness.)  They weren't dumb; God just closed up their hearts so they wouldn't understand.  What a horrible thing it would be for us to realize that God shut our heart and mind and ears.  

I don't want God to ever shut me down so that I don't understand.  That would seem to me, like a nightmarish, dark, cold, lonely place where my soul would never find rest.  Without the Light of the Spirit I would have zero peace.  Thank you, Lord, for granting me that peace that is always surrounding me.  And please never let me stop seeking You.

my Home

My children and I have a beautiful new home. More lovely than anything I could have imagined seven months ago when my life took a dramatic turn.

There are so many features in this home that I've never had but always wanted: large windows with ample natural light, higher ceilings, a freezer that makes ice (yes, I've always wanted one of those) and even a china hutch to display my china.  I thought I'd never have one of those in my lifetime.  But even though this place is lovely in so many ways, it's not really my home.

When I signed the lease, they wanted me to commit to 1 year.  I thought 1 year was too long because my little family and I would like to move out to some acreage soon.  So I told them I would only agree to 6 months.  And so although I plan to move soon, I unpacked our lives and settled in for a comfortable 6 months.  I don't necessarily want to live out of boxes just because I'd like to move soon.  I am making this place my home as much as I can for the time being.  But my children and I are always talking about the property we're looking for, discussing the number of chickens we want or the vegetables we're planning to put in the garden or what kind of guard dog we should get.  None of those things are possible in our little apartment so we're looking forward to the home we'd like to settle in.

The weird thing is that even though we're not planning to live here for the long-haul, we're still comfortable enough to live and share what God has gifted to us.  If someone told me that I would have to live here for the rest of my life, I'm not really sure I would handle it with as much grace.  But knowing that this is temporary makes it quite tolerable and even enjoyable as I look forward to our new home.


I was walking around our place tonight trying to put everything in it's proper place, feeling overwhelmed by walls that seemed to be closing in on me, and anticipating a piece of property where more of our day could be spent outdoors and not inside. My kids are outside, a lot, in this place.  We were so fortunate to find an apartment with a beautiful and safe yard with lots of walkways for scootering and rollerblading.  But they can't go far and the times spent indoors produces a lot of mess in this small place.  So I look forward and can visualize the home God is preparing for us.

But my thoughts don't stop there.  They are not limited to the potential of some property in the near future.  They continue onward and upward in anticipation of my real Home.

The truth is that God has provided quite a beautiful world for us on this planet.  His nature speaks of His handiwork and glory on a second-by-second basis and I praise Him for giving us so many gifts in this temporary place.  But no matter how wonderful this world is, no matter how much fun I have here, I know there is a better place waiting for me and my children.  I love talking about it, making plans, and looking forward to it.

This is not just a "someday-when-Jesus-returns" kind of thing.  It's imminent, just around the corner.  I didn't sign a long-term lease with this world because I know this is not my home.  So no matter how long I stay here or how much longer this world will last, I choose to live like my move into my new Home is just around the corner.  This perspective has put so many of my aspirations into their right place.  This world is not my home.  That's not just a song I sing, but a path I choose to walk.


And so, even though my kitchen is still a mess and I'm tired and need to sleep; even though I have a painfully busy day ahead of me tomorrow and I have zero hope of getting my house in order, I will take time to reflect on the Home that God is preparing for me.

Jesus said, I go to prepare a place for you.  

And as much as I appreciate that He's doing that for me, the longing in my heart is not for the latter part of that sentence but for the first part.  The part where He says I go.  I don't really want Him to go.  I would like Him to stay.  My longing for my Home has more to do with Jesus than a palace in the clouds.

The anticipation of the new Home is not just a place to run and play, but a place to love and connect and satisfy my need for my oneness with Jesus.

I SO look forward to that kind of Home.

my pet gnat

I have a new pet.  I have named him Tang.  He is my gnat.  

I found him on my kitchen wall and instantly fell in love with him.  He was so beautifully created and had so much life in him left to live.  I adopted him as my own.  Yes, I know he's only an inconsequential speck that most people just squash.  But when I look at him, I see so much more.  I see evidence of his Creator and I want to treasure him.

So I will treat him like the royalty that he is.  He's a product of the King of Creation so he must be royalty too.

A friend walked in noticing me admiring my new pet and she laughed at me and asked what I was doing.  I told her I was thinking about what kind of home to build for Tang.  She laughed at me again and said I was being ridiculous, that Tang was nothing more than a dumb bug that would live for about 3 to 5 weeks and that there were so many better things to focus on.

I didn't care about how insignificant she thought Tang was.  I knew that he was a product of the Creator and therefore held infinite value.

So I decided to build Tang a home.  I thought about building a small ecosystem in a jar.

But he seemed more deserving than that.  So I decided on a larger home: an atrium off the side of my house, even larger than my home itself.  

And so I moved Tang into his new home and spent time with him on a daily basis.  I was consumed with care for him and watched his daily activities with great interest, understanding that every one of his actions, regardless of how tiny they were, were a direct result of the way the Creator designed him. 

My friends would stop by and watch me watching Tang.  They observed as I worked diligently to keep the temperature of the atrium at the perfect 77 degrees.  They couldn't see the beauty in the bug.  But I could.  I knew him well as I studied his movements.  I sat in awe at his amazing ability to hover over the pools of water in his home.  I praised the Creator as I observed Tang pollinate other flowers by carrying grains of pollen on his smooth, relatively hairless body.  Such a difficult task for such a little guy yet he continued to travel from plant to plant.  I watched in amazement at how he nibbled on the roots of plants that were 1000 times his size.  He was a wonder to behold and admire.

No one understood my fascination with him.  They continued to insist that he was just a useless pest.  And they secretly wanted to just accidentally squash him so that I would give up this nonsense.  But I knew better.  I had studied his value and I knew, without any doubt, that Tang had value that few would comprehend.  And so I dedicated all of my time to preserving his life and the lives of his children and their children.

When Tang passed away my heart was broken because of the loss but also infinitely pained because I could have saved him.  His delicate wing was injured (by a reckless fault all his own) and he had gotten caught in the web of a spider.  My large fingers couldn't pull him to safety because I would have crushed him in the process.  So I had to watch him fade from my life in a most horrendous way.  Such a tragedy.  If only I could have saved him.




So this is probably the weirdest post I've ever written.  But I had a thought about our level of insignificance tonight and wanted to reflect on it.  The truth is that there is an enemy who is looking at our world and trying to convince God (and even us) that we are ridiculously insignificant and not worth His time.  The enemy is waiting eagerly to retain authority over this world so that he can destroy what is most precious to God because he can't comprehend our value.  To him we are a bunch of failures that don't even deserve to live.  And yet the contrast of that is how much God values us.  He values us so much that it's ridiculous.  Outrageous, even.  The care and the time He puts into watching us, and tenderly providing for us, is probably the most preposterous thing imaginable.


I suppose the only thing more outrageous was if I found a way to turn myself into a gnat, climbed onto that spider web and wiggled my way in between his body and the sticky web, freeing him from it and taking his place.  Who would comprehend such a foolish sacrifice for such a useless gnat?