my Home

My children and I have a beautiful new home. More lovely than anything I could have imagined seven months ago when my life took a dramatic turn.

There are so many features in this home that I've never had but always wanted: large windows with ample natural light, higher ceilings, a freezer that makes ice (yes, I've always wanted one of those) and even a china hutch to display my china.  I thought I'd never have one of those in my lifetime.  But even though this place is lovely in so many ways, it's not really my home.

When I signed the lease, they wanted me to commit to 1 year.  I thought 1 year was too long because my little family and I would like to move out to some acreage soon.  So I told them I would only agree to 6 months.  And so although I plan to move soon, I unpacked our lives and settled in for a comfortable 6 months.  I don't necessarily want to live out of boxes just because I'd like to move soon.  I am making this place my home as much as I can for the time being.  But my children and I are always talking about the property we're looking for, discussing the number of chickens we want or the vegetables we're planning to put in the garden or what kind of guard dog we should get.  None of those things are possible in our little apartment so we're looking forward to the home we'd like to settle in.

The weird thing is that even though we're not planning to live here for the long-haul, we're still comfortable enough to live and share what God has gifted to us.  If someone told me that I would have to live here for the rest of my life, I'm not really sure I would handle it with as much grace.  But knowing that this is temporary makes it quite tolerable and even enjoyable as I look forward to our new home.


I was walking around our place tonight trying to put everything in it's proper place, feeling overwhelmed by walls that seemed to be closing in on me, and anticipating a piece of property where more of our day could be spent outdoors and not inside. My kids are outside, a lot, in this place.  We were so fortunate to find an apartment with a beautiful and safe yard with lots of walkways for scootering and rollerblading.  But they can't go far and the times spent indoors produces a lot of mess in this small place.  So I look forward and can visualize the home God is preparing for us.

But my thoughts don't stop there.  They are not limited to the potential of some property in the near future.  They continue onward and upward in anticipation of my real Home.

The truth is that God has provided quite a beautiful world for us on this planet.  His nature speaks of His handiwork and glory on a second-by-second basis and I praise Him for giving us so many gifts in this temporary place.  But no matter how wonderful this world is, no matter how much fun I have here, I know there is a better place waiting for me and my children.  I love talking about it, making plans, and looking forward to it.

This is not just a "someday-when-Jesus-returns" kind of thing.  It's imminent, just around the corner.  I didn't sign a long-term lease with this world because I know this is not my home.  So no matter how long I stay here or how much longer this world will last, I choose to live like my move into my new Home is just around the corner.  This perspective has put so many of my aspirations into their right place.  This world is not my home.  That's not just a song I sing, but a path I choose to walk.


And so, even though my kitchen is still a mess and I'm tired and need to sleep; even though I have a painfully busy day ahead of me tomorrow and I have zero hope of getting my house in order, I will take time to reflect on the Home that God is preparing for me.

Jesus said, I go to prepare a place for you.  

And as much as I appreciate that He's doing that for me, the longing in my heart is not for the latter part of that sentence but for the first part.  The part where He says I go.  I don't really want Him to go.  I would like Him to stay.  My longing for my Home has more to do with Jesus than a palace in the clouds.

The anticipation of the new Home is not just a place to run and play, but a place to love and connect and satisfy my need for my oneness with Jesus.

I SO look forward to that kind of Home.