They're just drunk

So here's something interesting about non-believers:  They can SEE a miracle of God and literally dismiss it with ridicule.  

They are actual WITNESSES to these miracles and still they mock.  That just blows me away.  That tells me that it takes more than just a miracle to win a person to Jesus.  The heart of the unbeliever needs to make some effort toward a connection with Jesus.  At least in some small way.  Perhaps they recognize they are not perfect.  Perhaps they see a deficiency they want to address but don't know how to begin.  Perhaps they answer a prompting on their conscience to reconcile a past relationship.  Or maybe they've just been beaten down with the consequences of their own sins and are looking up for a way out.  In all these cases, they may not recognize that it's God that they are searching for but at least something is opened up in their hearts.  Something, anything.  God doesn't need a VIP invitation, He just needs them to look upwards and not inwards at themselves.  God seeks all those that are broken but He can't reach them until they look away from themselves and towards a characteristic of Jesus.

So when the Holy Spirit was poured out on the apostles (in a quiet and personal way, by the way) they began to speak in other languages.  The people of Jerusalem heard the sound of them speaking and rushed to hear what was going on.  They literally heard their own languages.  And I'm sure many spoke more than one language so they were able to hear all the languages they knew in one place.  They were amazed.  

When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken.  Utterly amazed, they asked: "Aren't all these who are speaking Galileans?  Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language?"  Acts 2:6-8

Well, there's only one solid explanation for such a miraculous and amazing situation:  they must be drunk. 

That sounds ridiculous and yet that's what the Bible says the people were saying.  But others in the crowd ridiculed them, saying, "They're just drunk, that's all!" Acts 2:13

Again, that just blows my mind!  How unfaithful are these mockers that they would mock the Holy Spirit in His very presence?  Is it in their experience to start speaking other languages when they've had too much too drink?  I doubt that's the case, so how is it that they would come up with such a conclusion?

At first I thought that they were just plain evil because it's always the devil's attempt to take a miracle of God and reduce it with ridicule, not even addressing the actual situation, but just finding a way to diminish the visible power by drawing attention away to self-glorification.  Because that's all that bullying and mockery really is.  It's drawing attention to the one making fun of the person.  It attempts to reduce the victim and puff themselves up in an "I'm-so-much-better-than-you-that-I-can-put-you-down" kind of way.  Yeah, that sounds like one of the enemy's tactics.  

But what if that wasn't the case at all?  What if God shut their ears and to them it DID seem like babbling and drunkenness?  

Isaiah says, Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes.  Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.  Isaiah 6:10

That seems like such a harsh thing to say.  And yet Jesus goes ahead and repeats it in Matthew 13.  The disciples asked why He was speaking in parables and He said that Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.  And then He goes on to quote that same passage in Isaiah 6:10.

You see, the thing is that the Word of God is not to be spoon-fed.  It is a hunt, a search, a constant seeking.  One website reports that there are 77 verses in the Bible about seeking God, another website says 83.  In any case, that's a lot of instruction telling us to seek.  And seeking is not just like, "Oh I just read the Bible and now I understand everything there is to know about Jesus and I'm going to heaven and I'm awesome."  Reading it is rarely enough.  For the same reason that a teacher won't just read a textbook to a child and then expect them to have mastered the concepts enough to teach it to others.  They study it, they look at the bold-face words and learn what they mean (not just that they exist).  They discuss it, in small groups, sometimes as a class.  They do projects and reports on it.  They present their findings.  They don't just read the textbook.  

Many open their Bible textbook and just read through, or listen to the Bible on a cd, but they never study it.  They don't seem to desire to actually discuss it or apply it to their lives.  They think it's enough just to read it.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love to listen to my Bible too, sometimes when I'm driving or cleaning the house or whatever.  I love that we have the Bible in an audio version.  And sometimes I love to just read the verses of the day from my various favorite websites.  And those are beautiful things to do in quiet times.  But I will admit that I don't grow very much during those times.  And that's why when I listen to the Bible, I choose something that I've already studied so that I can reinforce my learnings.  And the truth is, that if I don't apply the verse of the day to my life or pray it into my spirit somehow, it really does nothing for me.  It's more like just seeing a picture of an old friend and being like, "Oh hey, I loved that guy!  What great times we had."  

I decided to study the book of Revelation one day.  So in my quiet (yet hands-busy) times, I listened to the entire book on my iPhone.  A friend of mine knew I was planning to study Revelation and asked how it was going.  I told her that I was almost through it.  But the lie stung just a bit because although it was true that I was almost done listening to it, I had made zero progress in understanding any of it. I could recall nothing from what I had heard as I listened to it.  

But in an effort to redeem myself here, I must let you know that I did finally open my Bible, highlighters in hand, internet open as well, and study some the passages and their implications in my life after I finished listening to it.  And for me, THAT is "studying" the Bible, not just reading it.  

Jesus knew that there were many people who were eager for "blessings" by osmosis, just by being near the Blessed One or just reading the Blessed Scriptures.  But that's not how His knowledge and salvation works.  One must desire a deeper understanding and knowledge of God and not just the blessings and rewards that come with that knowledge and understanding.  

Understanding and knowledge of Jesus is more precious than gold and more costly than jewels.  

The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul.  The statues of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.  The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are radiant giving light to the eyes.  The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous.  They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb.  Psalm 19:7-10

This knowledge of God is exceptionally valuable and a gift to those who seek Him.  

To those who are not seeking Him, their eyes and ears are closed.  Yes, that's harsh.  But that's what the Bible says. 

So I urge to you study the Scriptures, not just read them.  So that your eyes and ears can stay open and so that you don't find yourself mocking the Holy Spirit in His presence.  Because He IS at work, and He IS displaying Himself in amazing ways.  In my own personal experience, I have seen people who profess to be believers literally mock the movements of the Lord and attribute His miracles to ridiculous explanations, just like the people of Jerusalem thought the apostles were drunk.  But now I know that they were not just being dumb.  (Because really, they sound so dumb when they claim that speaking fluently in another language is a result of drunkenness.)  They weren't dumb; God just closed up their hearts so they wouldn't understand.  What a horrible thing it would be for us to realize that God shut our heart and mind and ears.  

I don't want God to ever shut me down so that I don't understand.  That would seem to me, like a nightmarish, dark, cold, lonely place where my soul would never find rest.  Without the Light of the Spirit I would have zero peace.  Thank you, Lord, for granting me that peace that is always surrounding me.  And please never let me stop seeking You.

my Home

My children and I have a beautiful new home. More lovely than anything I could have imagined seven months ago when my life took a dramatic turn.

There are so many features in this home that I've never had but always wanted: large windows with ample natural light, higher ceilings, a freezer that makes ice (yes, I've always wanted one of those) and even a china hutch to display my china.  I thought I'd never have one of those in my lifetime.  But even though this place is lovely in so many ways, it's not really my home.

When I signed the lease, they wanted me to commit to 1 year.  I thought 1 year was too long because my little family and I would like to move out to some acreage soon.  So I told them I would only agree to 6 months.  And so although I plan to move soon, I unpacked our lives and settled in for a comfortable 6 months.  I don't necessarily want to live out of boxes just because I'd like to move soon.  I am making this place my home as much as I can for the time being.  But my children and I are always talking about the property we're looking for, discussing the number of chickens we want or the vegetables we're planning to put in the garden or what kind of guard dog we should get.  None of those things are possible in our little apartment so we're looking forward to the home we'd like to settle in.

The weird thing is that even though we're not planning to live here for the long-haul, we're still comfortable enough to live and share what God has gifted to us.  If someone told me that I would have to live here for the rest of my life, I'm not really sure I would handle it with as much grace.  But knowing that this is temporary makes it quite tolerable and even enjoyable as I look forward to our new home.


I was walking around our place tonight trying to put everything in it's proper place, feeling overwhelmed by walls that seemed to be closing in on me, and anticipating a piece of property where more of our day could be spent outdoors and not inside. My kids are outside, a lot, in this place.  We were so fortunate to find an apartment with a beautiful and safe yard with lots of walkways for scootering and rollerblading.  But they can't go far and the times spent indoors produces a lot of mess in this small place.  So I look forward and can visualize the home God is preparing for us.

But my thoughts don't stop there.  They are not limited to the potential of some property in the near future.  They continue onward and upward in anticipation of my real Home.

The truth is that God has provided quite a beautiful world for us on this planet.  His nature speaks of His handiwork and glory on a second-by-second basis and I praise Him for giving us so many gifts in this temporary place.  But no matter how wonderful this world is, no matter how much fun I have here, I know there is a better place waiting for me and my children.  I love talking about it, making plans, and looking forward to it.

This is not just a "someday-when-Jesus-returns" kind of thing.  It's imminent, just around the corner.  I didn't sign a long-term lease with this world because I know this is not my home.  So no matter how long I stay here or how much longer this world will last, I choose to live like my move into my new Home is just around the corner.  This perspective has put so many of my aspirations into their right place.  This world is not my home.  That's not just a song I sing, but a path I choose to walk.


And so, even though my kitchen is still a mess and I'm tired and need to sleep; even though I have a painfully busy day ahead of me tomorrow and I have zero hope of getting my house in order, I will take time to reflect on the Home that God is preparing for me.

Jesus said, I go to prepare a place for you.  

And as much as I appreciate that He's doing that for me, the longing in my heart is not for the latter part of that sentence but for the first part.  The part where He says I go.  I don't really want Him to go.  I would like Him to stay.  My longing for my Home has more to do with Jesus than a palace in the clouds.

The anticipation of the new Home is not just a place to run and play, but a place to love and connect and satisfy my need for my oneness with Jesus.

I SO look forward to that kind of Home.

my pet gnat

I have a new pet.  I have named him Tang.  He is my gnat.  

I found him on my kitchen wall and instantly fell in love with him.  He was so beautifully created and had so much life in him left to live.  I adopted him as my own.  Yes, I know he's only an inconsequential speck that most people just squash.  But when I look at him, I see so much more.  I see evidence of his Creator and I want to treasure him.

So I will treat him like the royalty that he is.  He's a product of the King of Creation so he must be royalty too.

A friend walked in noticing me admiring my new pet and she laughed at me and asked what I was doing.  I told her I was thinking about what kind of home to build for Tang.  She laughed at me again and said I was being ridiculous, that Tang was nothing more than a dumb bug that would live for about 3 to 5 weeks and that there were so many better things to focus on.

I didn't care about how insignificant she thought Tang was.  I knew that he was a product of the Creator and therefore held infinite value.

So I decided to build Tang a home.  I thought about building a small ecosystem in a jar.

But he seemed more deserving than that.  So I decided on a larger home: an atrium off the side of my house, even larger than my home itself.  

And so I moved Tang into his new home and spent time with him on a daily basis.  I was consumed with care for him and watched his daily activities with great interest, understanding that every one of his actions, regardless of how tiny they were, were a direct result of the way the Creator designed him. 

My friends would stop by and watch me watching Tang.  They observed as I worked diligently to keep the temperature of the atrium at the perfect 77 degrees.  They couldn't see the beauty in the bug.  But I could.  I knew him well as I studied his movements.  I sat in awe at his amazing ability to hover over the pools of water in his home.  I praised the Creator as I observed Tang pollinate other flowers by carrying grains of pollen on his smooth, relatively hairless body.  Such a difficult task for such a little guy yet he continued to travel from plant to plant.  I watched in amazement at how he nibbled on the roots of plants that were 1000 times his size.  He was a wonder to behold and admire.

No one understood my fascination with him.  They continued to insist that he was just a useless pest.  And they secretly wanted to just accidentally squash him so that I would give up this nonsense.  But I knew better.  I had studied his value and I knew, without any doubt, that Tang had value that few would comprehend.  And so I dedicated all of my time to preserving his life and the lives of his children and their children.

When Tang passed away my heart was broken because of the loss but also infinitely pained because I could have saved him.  His delicate wing was injured (by a reckless fault all his own) and he had gotten caught in the web of a spider.  My large fingers couldn't pull him to safety because I would have crushed him in the process.  So I had to watch him fade from my life in a most horrendous way.  Such a tragedy.  If only I could have saved him.




So this is probably the weirdest post I've ever written.  But I had a thought about our level of insignificance tonight and wanted to reflect on it.  The truth is that there is an enemy who is looking at our world and trying to convince God (and even us) that we are ridiculously insignificant and not worth His time.  The enemy is waiting eagerly to retain authority over this world so that he can destroy what is most precious to God because he can't comprehend our value.  To him we are a bunch of failures that don't even deserve to live.  And yet the contrast of that is how much God values us.  He values us so much that it's ridiculous.  Outrageous, even.  The care and the time He puts into watching us, and tenderly providing for us, is probably the most preposterous thing imaginable.


I suppose the only thing more outrageous was if I found a way to turn myself into a gnat, climbed onto that spider web and wiggled my way in between his body and the sticky web, freeing him from it and taking his place.  Who would comprehend such a foolish sacrifice for such a useless gnat?

I know what I know

I know Who I serve. I know the King of my heart and my life. I know His voice and I know His love.

I don't need to know what the future holds. I only need to know Who holds the future. Fear, worry and anxiety do not belong to me. 

It doesn't matter what I've known or what I have misunderstood. 

It doesn't matter what I've done right or how many mistakes I've made. 

The only thing that matters now is Who I have chosen. I have chosen Jesus. I have chosen to relinquish the control of my life to Him. I submit my life and my all to the Creator of my world. The same God who spun the planets into motion and set the stars on fire, also breathed His Spirit into my life. There is NO ONE more qualified to guide my life than the One with the blueprints in His hands. 

Thank you, Lord, for being the King and Lover of my heart. 

I praise You. 

I adore You. 

I need You. 

I love you

Charging Station

Cell phones are great.  I love my iPhone.  It's a fantastic phone; does everything I need it to do and then some.  But the other day, I used the phone so much that I ran down my battery.  It still had about 15% left so I could make another call or two if I needed but I thought it would be smart to charge it anyway.

I picked up the charger that came in the box and plugged it into the phone.  Then I waited for it to charge.

I checked back later and noticed that the battery had gone down to 11%.  This charger was obviously broken.  I bought more chargers, one after another, and tried them too.  My phone continued to lose battery life.  It was finally down to 3% when I took it, and the chargers, into the Apple store.  The Apple expert finally pointed out that although I was connecting the charging cord to the phone, I was not completing the circuit by connecting the other end to the wall.

Ohhh!  Okay.  That makes sense.  So I went home with my phone at 2%, plugged the charger into it and then plugged the other end of the charger into the wall.

6 minutes later, I checked on it and was pleased to see that it was charging successfully.   10 minutes later, I unplugged my phone to answer a call.  Imagine my frustration when my phone died on me halfway into my conversation!  I turned back to the charger with a scowl on my face.  "I already plugged you into my phone AND the wall and you still didn't charge my phone?!"

I plugged it in again.  I waited at least 10 minutes before unplugging it to work on my grocery list.  The battery STILL wasn't fully charged.

Then I played a game of Sudoku and checked the football playoff scores.  (Yeah, now you know I'm making this stuff up.)  I took a few pictures of my kids and then set my phone down so it could rest.

When I picked it up again, the battery was nearly dead.  Again!  Ugh!  The phone seemed so attached to it's charger, it was ridiculous!  I plugged it back in again.  Then I received another call and then texted a few friends.  Then it was nearly dead again! This was an exhausting task.  It seemed that my phone would NEVER get fully charged.  What a lousy method of charging.

I went back to the Apple store and let them know that their charging system was faulty.  I told them that I had lost faith in the ability of these chargers to bring my phone to a 100% charge.  I handed the clerk all the chargers and demanded a full refund.  They complied with my demands and I walked away with a pocket full of money and nearly dead phone.

When I got home I set my phone on the counter and watched the battery life fade until it was completely dead.  I was frustrated beyond measure and decided that iPhones were not as grand as everyone made them out to be. Maybe they worked for others, but they didn't work for me.

Every morning, I walked past my dead iPhone and scowled at it.  "Worthless, useless, piece of junk," I grumbled.

A few weeks later, a dear friend came to visit.  She took off her coat, greeted me with a hug and said she'd missed me since she couldn't call or text me any more.  I just shrugged and pointed to the dead phone on my counter.  "It's not my fault," I said.  "This phone just doesn't seem to want to work for me."  I went on to heat some water for our tea and she said, "Do you mind if I charge my phone while we chat?  It's only half full but I like to make sure it's fully charged for my drive home."

She pulled out a charger that looked identical to the ones I had returned.  "Oh, those don't work, " I pointed out to her.  She just smiled and plugged her phone in.  She turned the sound off on her phone and sat down to visit with me.

We chatted for at least an hour or more, catching up on life and events.  She got up to get some more tea and picked up her iPhone.  "Oh good, 100% charged," she said.

"What?  How is that possible?"  I asked.  "Those chargers never worked for me."

She offered to let me use her charger.  I plugged it in and went back to sit down.  I heard a text come through and I got up to check on it.  She waited patiently for me.  I unplugged the phone and sat back down on the couch to respond.  By the time I had responded to some long overdue texts, my phone was dead again.  "Ugh!  See what I mean?" I griped.  I got up and plugged it back in.

A few minutes later, I received a phone call and I answered it immediately.  The phone died 2 minutes into my conversation.  I plugged it back in.

We chatted about a few more things, then I remembered some things I needed to add to my grocery list on my phone.  I unplugged it again and added my items.  The phone was once again dying.

"I don't understand!" I said in exasperation.  "There must be something wrong with this phone!"

My friend just looked at me and then responded quietly, "You're not letting it charge long enough.  There's nothing wrong with your phone or the charger, you're just not giving it enough time.  You're interrupting the process repeatedly and you are taxing the life of your battery without recharging it."

I just stared at the phone in my hands and couldn't realize how ridiculous I had been.

She laughed gently and continued, "Can you imagine what life would be like for us if we recharged our spiritual batteries like you recharge your phone?  Wow!"  She laughed again.  "That would be a disaster!"

I laughed and nodded in agreement.  And yet, I knew, as I looked at the world around me, that it was not a laughing matter at all.  That kind of mentality was all around me.  People going to church expecting that to be enough to recharge them.  But that was as logical as the phone lying next to the outlet without being plugged in.  In order to recharge our spirits, we need to actually make a connection with our Creator.  I know that church helps facilitate that connection but church is not what drives the connection.  The driving factor comes directly from my own heart.  And that heart needs to find itself in love with the Creator.  Others will have that daily 5-10 minute worship moment with God and that's good unless you're planning to depend heavily on God for something.  If my phone were just going to sit on my counter all day without being used, that 5-10 minutes of charge could last all day.  But when I tax the energy on the battery, I need a full charge, sometimes I even need to recharge it twice in one day, or three times.

That makes sense, yeah?

And yet, so many of us charge only a little bit and then get frustrated that it's not producing the results we are expecting or that we see in the lives of others.  "I need God to give me strength but He just doesn't answer my prayers!"  "I have sought God, again and again, but He has NEVER come through for me; I feel like He totally ignores me."  "I called out to God, many times, here or there, but then when tragedy struck, He was nowhere to be seen!"

But He doesn't ignore us; we just can't hear the call come through from Him because our batteries are completely dead.  When my phone dies, I will not receive calls, not because people aren't calling, but because nothing is coming through.  That's not my phone's fault and it's certainly not the fault of the person trying to call me.

God is trying to call us; trying to make a connection with us and offer us the encouragement and hope and strength that we so desperately need.  But a few minutes, a few prayers, that's not enough for some of the heartaches we are dealing with.  Some of the smaller burdens in life?  Yeah, that's enough.  But for the bigger heartaches and suffering?  We need more.  More of Jesus.  We need to be determined to stay connected to Him.  We need to be committed to recharging ourselves for longer periods of time.  We need that, otherwise we may not emotionally survive some of life's more painful moments.


I have a thing that I'm a little bit obsessive about.  As soon as I get into my car, I set up my phone on its little magnetic docking station and then I plug it in.  I unplug it when I get out of the car but then as soon as I get in, I plug it in again.  I love to have my battery charged at full capacity whenever I can.  I'm not making this up, either, I'm a little bit obsessive compulsive about that.

Now, I'm not excusing any kind of obsessive compulsive action, but I wouldn't mind being as compulsive with my spiritual walk as I am with my iPhone.  Like, whenever I have a chance, standing in line, waiting at a stoplight, sitting down for a moment...if I could just sneak a little bit of Jesus into my day, how awesome would that be?  A prayer, a whisper of a verse, a promise remembered, etc.  It wouldn't be enough, of course.  Because when I'm out and about and running errands, the truth is that my phone is off my charger more than it's on my charger in the car.  The battery only stays relatively full if my phone started off full.  I still need to let it charge, completely, once or twice a day. But those little added moments just to add to the charge already there, just to know that I'm at 100% as often as I can be.  How cool.

Anyway, I know this made-up story is long and detailed, but it was important to me that I identify exactly how ridiculous our recharging system is sometimes.

So how about it? Have you recharged lately?  Have I?  Am I able to sit down and not allow the distractions of the world to pull me away from that moment of recharging?  I wish I could.  I only got interrupted 3 times during this blog so that's not too bad.  (My kid, who should be sleeping, called out to me and wanted to know if I planned to plant watermelons in my future garden, a neighbor came by to help with my broken septic system, and then the cat did a smelly number in the litter box and I had to clean it).  So that's not too bad.  It's better than my other track records.  Oh, and I sent out one text or two.  Ugh.  Okay.  I can see it.  I can see how many times I interrupt my moment.  And just like the friend who visited, God just sits there waiting patiently for me to return me attention to Him.  He doesn't get mean and say, "Um, excuuuse me.  I didn't come visit you so you could interrupt our conversation constantly!"  No.  He just sits and waits.  Smiles at me when I find myself in foolish situations and offers a helping hand even when I'm grumbling.

How can I not want to spend time with a Friend like that!  Of course I do.  And I will.  I hope you will too, 'cause the iPhone works so much better when it's not dying all the time.  And your spirit will work so much better, too, when it's not constantly dying because of a low battery.

So plug in, tune out the world, and tune into Jesus.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

James 4:8