in God we do trust

It's funny, isn't it?  Our money motto since 1864 has been "In God We Trust" written on our very dollars.  It's like our founding fathers had some special foresight that anticipated the modern world's drive for wealth, and in a desperate attempt to still those insatiable appetites, decided to engrave a directional motto on our dollars and cents.  

And yet, so many of us - Christians, no less - transfer our trust from God to the dollar. 

I had a discussion with someone recently who said that he would never marry because no one would ever marry someone in his line of work since it basically didn't provide a lot of financial security.

His statement has troubled me for a week now because I wish I'd had the courage to say, "I'm sorry...what?  What God do you serve that leads you to believe that your financial stability and security rests upon your own profession?"

So many people believe that higher education and well-paying jobs are the only way to have financial security in this country.  They may agree that a college education is not always necessary in those rare cases of entrepreneurial geniuses, but for the most part, higher education assures people of a promising bank account.  Now, I'm certainly not trying to diss higher education; I, too, am a graduate and post-graduate with a few degrees and someday anticipate the opportunity for even more.  Perhaps doctoral studies in history so that I can teach history at a university when my hair is grey and before my life is over.  Higher education serves a fantastic purpose for the expansion of the intellect and it feeds our need to study and educate ourselves.

But of course, a higher education doesn't always insure a fat bank account, anyway.  Some degrees are for the love of learning and not for a huge payout.  But for those successful individuals, I see so many of them who credit themselves with their financial gain as a result of their own efforts.  But what happens when the economy tanks and even high-paying jobs take a hit?  What happens when a debilitating injury occurs and you can't work?  What happens when a lawsuit takes place and you are bankrupt and have to move out of your 4000 sq. foot home?  If a person believes that their financial security rests upon their own shoulders, those kinds of hits could take a person down to the ground...and then out the door.

I choose to believe that God leads.  Regardless of what type of job you're doing - physician, professor, burrito maker, teacher, minister, factory worker, computer tech - your heavenly Father is watching over you and giving you what you need, when you need it.

Now some will continue to argue this idea, stating that it is just foolishness to choose a low-paying job (with education or not) and that God gave us brains so that we can use them and pad ourselves nicely with a full wallet and a large bottom line.  They may argue that people who work in minimum-pay jobs don't get to have the luxuries that those with higher education get to have.  Minimum-wage workers don't get to take their children to Disneyland or on a cruise.  They don't have the luxury of providing professional music lessons for their budding musicians or fancy clothes for a fashion-forward teenager.  The argument can be made that as a result, those individuals feel like they're getting the short end of the stick sometimes.  Some may argue that people with low income are often depressed and discouraged about their inability to provide everything their families desire.

But I will argue that God is providing them with everything they need if they choose to depend on His goodness and grace and accept that He has led them to the place at which they are.  Those who accept that their circumstances are in God's sight may not feel that Disneyland is a necessity, and that our hope for Heaven will satisfy every need for thrill and excitement and family fun.  Those that wait upon God may discover that the constant drive for more and more earthly things does not bring satisfaction and they turn away from those appetites.  Those who depend on God's care may find that when they are hungry and go without a meal, they are more compassionate towards others that are also suffering.  And their compassion may draw others into a closer relationship with God as well.

Some may say that depending on God as our financial advisor should, and will, provide us with wealth and riches, like for Abraham and David and Lot (after his losses).  It's true, God does bless, but that's not the point of this blog. The point is that it doesn't matter what your W-2 forms say.  You are not the ultimate provider.  God is, obviously.  And what He provides is not always in the form of greenbacks.

He provides security.

He provides happiness.

He provides peace and contentment.

He provides knowledge and wisdom.

He provides compassion and tenderness.

He provides riches in ways that cannot be measured by the balances of this earth.

And the sooner we come to accept that, the less anxiety we will suffer about how we will provide for our families.  Don't be lazy and sit around and expect God to bring you stuff like a mother bird brings her baby worms.  Sheesh, I hope you don't get that from this blog.  But do make an honest effort to utilize the God-given talents with which He has provided you and go on your merry, little way, singing your praises to Him and He will satisfy your needs.  He knows what you need; don't doubt that.  You think you know what you need.  But too many times we're confused by messages bombarding us in this world.  Just trust Him.  He knows what you need.

Has God gifted you with a talent by His own generosity?  Then it is likely that is the way in which He desires you to walk.  Walk in it with assurance and continue to praise Him.

Another plus side of having this kind of faith in God's leading is that when things are going swimmingly, you can praise Him all the more and draw others to Him with your testimony.  And when things are going not-so-swimmingly, you can turn to Him and say, "Lord, what is it that you want me to learn through this trial?  How would you like to refine me for your work?"  And He will show you.  And He will mold you.  And you will come through and sing His praises once again and draw others to Him with your testimony.

Kind of sounds like a win-win to me, so what's the problem?

And my God will fully supply your every need according to His glorious riches in the Messiah Jesus. Phil 4:19.

the One you are seeking

This morning, I woke up early and decided I would do some writing.  There's so much I want to say, so many things I'm learning about the character of God, the purpose of His people, the love that surrounds us...

I could just keep all these things to myself and ponder them in my own heart.  But I can't imagine how that's possible.  It seems as though these realizations and truths are pushing against my heart, trying to escape.  It's like when you're in love with someone, you can't stop smiling, you can't stop talking about them.  It's like that.

So in my head I considered a few things I wanted to write about but when I sat down my phone bleeped and the verse of the day popped up on the screen, and it was so beautiful I decided I couldn't keep it to myself.

"I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me.  Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the Lord Almighty.  Malachi 3:1

As soon as I read the words, "the Lord you are seeking..." I could see the multitude of earth's inhabitants reaching for this invisible God, searching for their lost treasure, on a quest for the one thing that will satisfy their unidentified desires.  Most of them don't know it but they're searching for God.

I see it every day; people reading self-help books, watching talk show hosts discussing the various "power within" ideas and then missing the point altogether.  They continue to grasp at the empty theories and broken promises that this world is offering them and they continue to live unsatisfied lives.  They are taught to seek their own strength for all of life's problems and then they continue to suffer.

But I've met the One they're really seeking.  I've borrowed His strength and I've experienced His love.   I know Who they really need and yet so many don't believe it.  But the promise of the verse in Malachi is that God will send His messenger and then suddenly the Lord will come!  In a way, we are also His messengers.  We, who carry the light of His love in our hearts, hold Him up as a torch for those in the darkness.  We have one job: to shine the light of Jesus' love on His hurting children.  One job.

And the written promise is that He will come.  The One they desire, will come.  Even if they don't know it's Him that they desire.  It doesn't matter.  He will come.

Never underestimate the seed that can be planted in the heart of a hurting child of God when you share what God has done for you.  And if you have no testimony about His grace towards you, then ask Him to show you.  Because His grace is like the gravity that keeps us on earth; it's one of those things that if it were removed, we wouldn't be able to function.  Just ask Him to show you and He will.

This verse has placed such a large smile in my spirit today.  It has given me such hope for the world.  It's true that women tend to be more sensitive, I suppose.  But my sensitivity to the pain of others is such a discouragement sometimes.  I feel helpless and hopeless and I can literally lose sleep over the hardships that so many people experience.  I looked at some photos yesterday that were bringing awareness to child abuse and my heart just broke and I wanted it to go away.  I wanted Jesus to come back so badly.  The thought of millions of children being wounded, so severely, on such a regular basis is so heartbreaking that I can hardly tolerate it.  And I cried out to God, asking Him why He won't just make it all stop.  Why won't He just come already?  Why can't He protect these innocent children?  He didn't answer me; He just cried with me.

But this verse is His promise to me.  He will come.

sing it out

Every Thanksgiving, it seems that we take the time to reflect on the things for which we are grateful. We make lists on paper or speak them verbally.  Lists about our gratitude for family and love and food, freedom and health and good friends. And then at church we sing songs about thankfulness. 

But do we ever just sing our thanks to God?  Is that the same thing as singing praise songs that others have written?  I don't actually have an answer. Just something I was pondering tonight. Because the verse below makes it sound like our singing is a way of giving thanks, (especially if you look at it in the Message version.)

Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God... Ephesians 5:19-20

How weird would it be if we were talking to God, thanking Him for His goodness, and then we suddenly broke out into song?

Yeah, weird. But I think Jesus might really enjoy it. It'd be like singing Him a love song directly from our hearts.

There are others in the Bible that sang their hearts to God in the moment. I wonder what it would feel like to do that...

Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Ephesians 5:18-20

why I don’t celebrate Halloween

There are some pretty fun Halloween traditions that I enjoyed as a child: dressing up, trick-or-treating, pumpkin carving, decorating, etc.  And as a child I didn’t comprehend the historical meaning behind all of those things.  I just enjoyed them and had fun.  There were decorations and costumes that scared me and grossed me out, but I just tried to avert my eyes.  Besides, everyone celebrated Halloween so it couldn’t be that bad.  

When I became a parent, I wanted my son to experience all the fun of all the holiday too.  He dressed up as an adorable puppy for his first trick-or-treating experience and I took lots of pictures.  He was so stinking cute!  As I experienced Halloween through his innocent 2-year-old eyes, I was suddenly horrified at how disturbingly accurate some of the costumes were.  He would cry and cling to me as he saw costumes with blood or zombies or whatever other grossness you can imagine.  At that time, I realized how inappropriate all of this dressing up appeared to be.  He wasn’t exposed only to disturbing images of death and gore, but also to women who decided that this holiday was an opportunity to reduce themselves to objects of desire for men.  It was difficult for me to want to continue participating in this holiday but I pushed through because the trick-or-treating was a favorite childhood activity and the kids looked so cute when they dressed up and no-one would understand me if I decided to stop.  In other words, peer pressure.  

I had a few odd friends who didn’t celebrate Halloween and without my invitation, decided to share all the reasons why Christians shouldn’t celebrate it.  I found their approach judgmental and offensive.  I got the feeling that if I chose to celebrate Halloween then I wasn’t as good of a Christian as they were.  But that’s my issue; judgmentalism and condemnation are a sensitive topic with me since they’re kind of the opposite of Jesus.  

Anyway, one day, out of curiosity I decided to do some research on Halloween.  History has always been a favorite pastime of mine and I love to learn about the origins of things, holidays, phrases, etc.  

I studied the origin of each Halloween tradition and found nothing but abuse of the cross, worship of satanic stuff and a painful misrepresentation of Christ’s forgiving character and His love.  Not one tradition had a history that was adorable or sweet or fun.  All of it was steeped in all manner of evil.  

Finally, I found my excuse out of this horrid holiday that keeps our dentists in business.  There was so much I hated about this holiday but felt social pressure to dress up my kids and let them ask others for candy.  But now, I had the knowledge I needed to be firm in my decision to avoid this holiday like a plague.  It wasn't easy because I was married to someone who thought my ideas were ridiculous and he insisted that I allow the kids to celebrate it.  

But now that I'm single, I can choose not to celebrate it.  I don’t celebrate Halloween because I don’t want to.  Not because I’m not supposed to.  Conviction is a work of the heart, not of the will.  I’m not trying to be religious and stuff.  I just want to honor Jesus and His sacrifice and the forgiveness of our sins.  And this particular holiday has the history of doing the very opposite of that and I really just don’t want to give the enemy even an inch.  

But that's my story.  I don’t need to tell you what to do.  I love seeing the pictures of kids in cute costumes.  Kids dressed up as animals and flowers and princesses?  Yes, please.  Too cute.  But I have studied and experienced a change of heart because of what I understand.  You may come to the same conclusion as me or not.  You know that I’m not going to be the one to judge.  

If you want to know more about the history of Halloween traditions, you should totally look them up, on a variety of websites, because some websites downplay the evil because it would be a real downer to highlight it.  Anyway, in the meantime, here’s a very quick run-down.

Halloween:  Also known as Hallow’s Eve, the night before All Saints Day.  Originally it was a pagan holiday for Irish folk who believed the spirits of the dead were wandering the earth that night. They had a lot of rituals like bonfires and dressing up to scare away unwanted spirits, etc.  The church celebrated all Saints Day on November 2 but combined it with their Hallow’s Eve when they invaded Ireland.  

Trick-or-treating: Poorer individuals would go to richer homes and offer to pray for the deceased family member in exchange for treats.  Children also adopted that tradition but it became increasingly more aggressive as the clergy abused the idea of the praying for the dead and would accept money or treats in exchange for the deceased individual’s forgiveness of sins.  If the family didn’t pay up, the clergy threatened to place a curse on them (i.e. trick).  

Costumes: The pagan Irish would dress up as ghastly-looking dead people come to life and run through the town horrifying people and stealing from them.  The townspeople were afraid of what they believed were the tormented spirits of their loved ones and were told to light candles and put them in their window to ward away the spirits.  They carved gourds into frightening images and put candles inside to frighten the spirits away.  Many of the townsfolk also took to dressing up as they walked through town so that the spirits wouldn’t recognize them.  

Jack-o-lanterns:  As mentioned previously, they were used to keep the spirits of dead people away.  

There’s more too, about witches and other witchcraft, black cats, etc. 

Yeah, see what I mean?  Not a single tradition is lovely.  Although offering to pray for someone is always nice, they were praying for someone that’s dead and that’s not exactly Biblical and a nice foundation for the idea that the dead know something, when the Bible says, The dead know not anything.  (Ecc. 9:5)

Anyway, I actually hate this holiday and it angers me because of how expertly and cleverly the enemy has twisted God’s love for humanity and glorified a gross misunderstanding of resting peacefully in Jesus (death).  

If Halloween was a holiday where kids got to dress up in cute costumes and visit neighbors and say hello, I would be all for that.  And some people treat it as that.  But for me, the fact remains that this holiday is a tradition that belongs in the enemy’s territory and I don’t want any part of it.  'Cause I hate him.  And when you hate someone — I mean, really really despise someone because they continue to hurt the ones you love and are joyful about it — you want to stay as far away from them as possible.  I want nothing to do with him.  I know how much it hurts God when He sees His children parading happily around a holiday that His enemy designed to pull people further away from the truth.  And more than that, I don’t want to hurt God.  

So that’s why I don’t celebrate Halloween. 

through the wringer

I've been moping around the last few days wondering why my life, at this time, can't be moving a bit more smoothly.  After all, I have repeatedly committed my life and plans to God and asked Him to lead and it looks like He really is leading.  So then why aren't my days a little easier?  Why all the struggle and the mess?  If God really is leading this move, if it really was Him that found this home for us, if it's really His desire that I move at this particular time in my life, then why is He not paving an easier path for me?  

I gotta tell you, I feel like I'm being hit from all angles this last week.  I have one week to finish painting most of the interior of my house and pack up my other place before my move on Sunday.  One week sounds reasonable, right?  One can get a lot done in one week, right?  Sure, one week sounds fine for the rest of the world, but the rest of the world isn't a single mother with a full-time job.  For those that don't think that homeschooling is a full-time job, try teaching from 8:00 am until 12:30 (with meal preps in between) and then traveling to afternoon sporting classes or teaching unit studies until 3:00.  Then throw in the 3 day/week evening karate classes and it's pretty much full-time, if not over-time.  Oh, and then don't forget to make a nutritious dinner and get the kids ready for bed, baths/showers, worship, lengthy tuck-ins, etc.  Not much time left to paint or pack.  

And then just for fun, toss in a few minor crisis and distractions: friends stopping by for visits and meaningful talks when you finally get time to paint, or another friend's car breaking down when you're heading over to paint and so you skip the entire painting plan to help them out for several hours.  And birthday parties and sleep-overs and friends who are frustrated with your inability to be there for them.   Pressure from children who are not handling the move well and want to cling to Mommy in the evening, pets that require care, and then add a splitting headache as the icing on the cake.  A headache so painful that you can't even move.  And then other things that I can't even begin to mention because the sheer existence of these situations exhausts me beyond words.

Why?  Why would God, the King of my life, allow such nonsense to continue to take place during a time that I believe He is guiding?  Doesn't make any sense.  

Or at least, it didn't make any sense until yesterday afternoon.  

I was praying to Him, asking Him for help, asking why.  And then all I could see was a wringer.  Something working hard to squeeze water out of a cloth garment.  I can only imagine the stress that the cloth was going through.  There's a reason people say they're going through a wringer.  'Cause that's what it feels like.  

But a wringer isn't a punching bag.  Yes, I know that's a strange connection to make.  But really, when others have used that phrasing, they're essentially describing a punching bag.  Taking a hit over and over and over with no purpose other than just pain.  

But that's not what a wringer is.  A wringer works hard to remove the excess water so that the garment can finish drying faster.  Do you need to have a wringer in order to dry a cloth?  Not really.  You can soak a pair of pants and leave them out to dry but they'll take forever to do so.  A pair of pants after going through a wringer will dry in way less time.  They'll be ready for use days before they would have otherwise been.  

I reflected on that wringer idea for a while and wondered what God was hoping to wring out of me by allowing the enemy access to my life during an already stressful period.  What kind of refinement was He hoping to work out a little faster than normal? 

How about the fact that as soon as things became difficult, I naturally assumed that I must not be in God's will since difficulties were coming my way?

How about the fact that I was upset with God, blaming Him for the plan He'd arranged for my life, questioning His care for me? 

How about the fact that I didn't have the capacity to be sensitive to the needs of others because I was too focused on my own stress?

How about the fact that I proclaimed that God's direction and care for me was falling short of my needs and that I needed to take matters into my own hands and start controlling the situation?  

There is so much in me that needs to be refined.  So many areas in which I'm still lacking.  So many struggles I neglect to bring to God.  When I realized that my attitude and frustrations and feelings of being overwhelmed were actually an insult to God's care for me, I took a step back and decided that nothing mattered more than being faithful to Him.  And that meant that I could maintain a positive and hopeful attitude amidst the trials.  

After I accepted that new perspective, a load was lifted off of me and I stopped stressing about how I would accomplish everything.  I decided that if God wanted me to accomplish all these things (ie, if they were truly necessary), He would find a way.  And then I expected good things.  And then even though yesterday was stressful, at least I had the promise of working for a few hours at the new place while the kids were with their dad.  But when my friend's car broke down I just had to laugh.  My kids' dad came to pick them up from the side of the road where we were and my friend asked why they weren't with me and what I had planned for the evening.  I just laughed and said that I had planned to paint.  Literally, I laughed.  What else could I do?  She felt so bad and thought maybe I should just leave.  But how could I leave a fellow single-mother with a toddler in a deserted area while some guy worked on her car?  A friend wouldn't do that.  And I'm glad I stayed. She used my car to go get parts, I watched her kid play while she dealt with the work, I talked to her when she needed a friend.  I'm glad I could be there for her.  I know that she was feeling overwhelmed and alone too.  I know what that feels like.  

But I can guarantee you, that if I hadn't had an attitude adjustment a few hours prior, I would have probably left her there.  I would have told her that I couldn't help, that I had so much to do at the house, that I was overwhelmed and that helping her didn't fit into my plans, that I had arranged care for my kids, not to babysit hers, but to be productive.  And you know what?  She would have survived.  But I would not have been proud of myself at all.  I would have felt like less of a human being for not being a faithful friend, and for not trusting in God's leading.  

I'm glad God adjusted my attitude.  I'm glad God helped me be a friend and forget about myself for a while.  Because when it's all said and done, I may not get the house painted, and it may make my life so much more difficult to paint while all our stuff is in it, but at least I didn't turn my back on God during this time.  And for me, that's the most important thing.  

I'm also glad that God didn't step in and grease a little pathway for me so that my week would glide along.  I'm glad He considers me worthy of refinement.  Because it is "through the trials of life that we are tempered into the steel of eternity."  Okay, I know that I totally butchered that quote and I hope that the friend who wrote that line won't be too offended if he sees it.  But you get the picture.  

I pray that in all trials, I can remain faithful and hopeful and focused on all that really matters.  I pray that in spite of the fact that I can't move my head (even after taking headache medicine 2 hours ago!), I will have the strength to get my children and teach them their lessons and take them to gymnastics class and get some work accomplished.  And in the meantime, I thank God for friends who are faithful to my needs and who recognize the struggles I'm going through and are offering a helping hand.  (Last night, one friend offered to help me with the kids and their school lessons today so I could get some work done!  Yay!)  (And just now, as I'm proof-reading, another friend offered to get me any necessary groceries!) 

God will take care of me and I am certain of that.  In the meantime, I praise Him for allowing me to go through the wringer. He knows what He's doing and He's here with me.  He promised.  

When the disciples were in the storm and Jesus was sleeping, they were like, "Don't you care?  We're about to die!"  But Jesus knew they weren't going to die.  He was there and nothing was going to take them out while He was there.  With just a simple command, He was able to calm the storm.  

As I considered dragging myself out of bed this morning at 5:00, a song kept playing in my head over and over, based on Isaiah 43:2:

When you pass through the waters, I will be you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.

We were never promised a free-ride.  But we were promised His faithfulness and it doesn't get much better than that on this earth.  So I welcome the trials.  I hope they won't take me down anymore.  And I anticipate the change in my heart and spirit when I come out on the other side.  

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James 1:2-4.