But today this story was used to confirm a message God was trying to drive into me and it all made sense.
Moses, likely distracted with the constantly grumbling Israelites, dismissed God's instruction to speak to the rock with an attitude that might have said, "I've got this. Be there; done that." He probably figured, Well if it worked last time, it should work this time.
But God had a painfully valuable lesson to teach Moses (and us) about obedience and direction. Just because that's the way God worked the first time does not mean that's the way He'll work again. I was honestly amazed at the profound lesson.
How many times has God led me in the past? Countless, really. He has been with me at every turn in my life, even when I didn't acknowledge Him. But I am at a place in my relationship with Him where I do recognize His hand and I do praise Him for His guidance. But my mistake, as of recently, was assuming that just because God was leading me, I could respond to His guidance in the same manner in which I had responded before; with a boldness and an attitude that said "I've got this. Been there; done that." (See the post about confidence vs. arrogance.)
I had already reflected on the fact that my bold walk could be misinterpreted as thoughtlessness but I hadn't considered the fact that God was saying, Hey you, I'm not always going to work the same way; wait on me to show you the next step; don't run ahead of me because you think you know my plans.
Every time I think about this it humbles me all over again, and I can't believe how much I still have to learn. But I did experience a moment of relief when I realized that even God's amazing leader, Moses, sometimes led in error. I laughed, Oh good, I'm not the only dummy around. But then I remembered the consequences of Moses' actions and I was suddenly somber again. This is no laughing matter; not something of little consequence. If I can't stay focused on God as my leader and not assume that I totally know how He's going to handle the situation, I can find myself in a world of trouble. And to make matters infinitely worse, I would dishonor God with my actions and testimony and set an example of error for anyone that's watching.
I appreciate God's lesson in humility and redirection because I don't want to follow the path where I depend on my own faith and not on the faith that God gives me as a gift.
And so the lesson I want to leave with you is this: listen carefully to whatever God is placing in your heart. So very carefully. Don't assume that you know how He will work. The God of the universe is not bound by our understanding of His ways. Seek a relationship with Him so that you will recognize His voice and then listen attentively. Unless God says, Go now. Waste no time, then take your time... reflect... ask... search... wait on Him.
Ugh.... such a tough lesson. I'm not the most patient person in the world. I'm always eager to watch God work and see Him weave threads together into a beautiful tapestry. But some tapestries are delicate works of art and they take time. So give me patience, Lord, to wait on you.
You know, part of me was a bit frustrated that I had to be "schooled" by God and put in my place. I know that I'm not perfect and I don't necessarily expect to be (although it'd be nice), but I've dedicated the last couple of months to some very diligent seeking of God's direction for my life. I felt like saying, "Come on, God, I've been seeking your direction for months. I have entered into a fasting period for the last 5 weeks. I have been praying more diligently and more often than I ever have. My prayers are focused, direct, and hopeful. I have a strength in my spirit and a joy in my walk that can't compare. But in spite of all of this I messed up anyway? Come on! What does a girl need to do to stay focused on you and not mess up?" I felt like a bit of a loser. But after taking that attitude to God, I could see Him laughing saying, Stop being so dramatic, my lovely. You didn't "mess up." I just readjusted your walk a smidgen; that's all. In fact, you might even say that you were receptive to my readjustment because of your diligent seeking. So it's no biggie. Iss all gooood. And that just makes me smile. Cause honestly, I've been pretty down on myself for misrepresenting God, but He seems pretty cool with me still. He really is much more gracious than I will ever deserve. How blessed are we to be able to serve the most loving God in all creation?
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