authority vs. control

Today I asked a question (for the sake of clarity) and was met with the statement that this learning arrangement was never going to work if I couldn't be a student and just listen and just say "okay."  (I know it sounds unreasonably harsh, but it was spoken kindly, not rudely, believe it or not.)

Even so, though, my initial internal reaction was less than understanding of such a restrictive and offensive expectation.  I was tempted to think I didn't have the skills to navigate this kind of learning arrangement but a greater part of me decided I would withhold my judgment on that until I talked to God about it.  After all, that's the least I could do since I feel I am in this learning position as a gift from Him and I have a feeling that God is trying to teach me things that go beyond music theory and whatnot. 

Besides, I have heard this individual speak words on behalf of God many, many times to me. And because I see God evidenced in their lives and actions, I choose to honor their authority.  I trust God.  I trust His servant too.  So if something doesn't seem right, I'm probably the one missing something. 

I was prepared for God to place some truth on my heart about this commanding person's personality or something that would make me more understanding or patient or whatever.  But instead I felt God highlighting the spoken words in my mind over and over and over:  I just need you to listen and just say "okay."  

And then it hit me.  It was God talking through a servant again.  God was saying, Oh, how I wish you would just stop talking and questioning me and just listen!  You say you want to be my servant, and to be used and to learn from me but if that's true, you need to listen and do what I say.  

But of course, as is my unfortunate habit, I argued with God and said, "But I didn't question him.  I was just asking a question for the sake of clarity."  

But the quick response was, No, you were questioning him.  You doubted that he was clear.  There is a difference between asking questions and questioning someone's authority or instructions.  I know, cause you do it to me all the time.  I love you and I really want to be able to use you, but if you can't just listen and follow my lead, this is never going to work.  

I'll be honest, it's not easy to be disciplined by God.  And to be quite honest, it seemed a little harsh, given the fact that I've felt like I have been submitted to God's leading and His direction for a while now.  

But the real truth is that even though I actively submit my heart, my will, and my life to God on a daily basis, there are still so many times I doubt and hesitate and then start to question Him.

I know God doesn't expect us to be mindless zombies, following and obeying without a will of our own.  And God is not asking me for that, He's just asking me to trust Him.  He's been asking me to trust Him ever since November 25 and I have consistently doubted and questioned His leading since that day.  Why?  Mainly because I'm scared.  I've entered into territory with which I am not experienced.  And it's frightening.  But God is constantly telling me, Trust me, please.  He is not asking me to live without a will; He just so badly wants my will to be to trust in Him, for my sake.  

And so today's "would-be" offensive comment turned out to be a very applicable reminder from God to stop and just listen.  

But while I have you here, reading, I'd like to address the issue of control versus authority because it came to mind after such a bold statement about just listening and saying "okay."  

In the past, I have experienced people trying to control me with their commands and demands. And sometimes with a passive aggressive manner. But it all resulted in the same approach, which said, "Do what I say or else..."  Or else I will not treat you lovingly.  Or else I will punish you or hurt you. 

Yeah, I've dealt with enough of that in my life that I'm quite sensitive to those kinds of situations. And I will not subject myself to them if I have a choice. 

But authority...

Authority can be defined as: The power to influence others, especially because of one's commanding manner, or one's recognized knowledge about something. 

A commanding manner can be somewhat off-putting for some people because they confuse it with unreasonable dominance. But a man (or woman) who can command respect and agreement is actually admirable and created in the image of God.

The trick is trying to discern the difference between someone who speaks with authority and one who tries to assert control.  

I'll be honest, using the standards of the world to gauge this would be nigh impossible. But using God as our meter stick makes it a breeze. 

Is the authoritative individual a godly person?  Do they seek God diligently, love Him, and shine His light for others?  Are they compassionate and thoughtful; understanding and gentle?  If the answers to these questions are "yes" then it can be safely concluded that the individual is working under the authority of God. In that case, respect and submission would be in our best interest since this person was established by God in a position of authority. And so submitting to that authority is essentially submitting to God.  And even if the person in authority makes mistakes or is wrong or imperfect (all of which will happen and are true), because we acknowledge God in the order, He takes care of us and honors our compliant attitude.  

But if the individual exerting authority is not godly and does not respect others, but is instead self-centered and unthoughtful, then it's pretty safe to assume that their authority is not established by God and therefore, being blindly submitted to their authority may not be in the best interest of everyone involved.  

I understand that the Bible says that kings and rulers are established and removed by God’s will.  And Jesus did encourage the people to give to the king what was due to the king.  But I’m not talking about those kinds of leaders.  I’m talking about the more common leaders; pastors, teachers, husbands, mentors, etc.  

The marriage arrangement is a bit different because I believe that even when a husband is not representing God, a wife who submits to his authority in an effort to honor her Heavenly Husband, will be honored and protected by Jesus.  I have first-hand experience in that, and a testimony that will restore your faith in the God-Man-Woman dynamic.  But that's a story for another blog. 

But for the rest of the leaders that God has placed in a position of authority, to be willing to accept their leadership would not only honor God, but might provide us with God's guidance and blessings.  I have someone in my life right now that seems to be shaped by God to be a powerful guide and I've noticed that whenever they have essentially "commanded" me, it has always been for my interest.  They have never spoken authoritatively for their own selfish aims, but always for my sake.  Wow!  What a far cry from what I've dealt with before.  Realizing that makes me want to submit to their authority.  I should look forward to it and anticipate opportunities to just listen and then say, "okay."  Also, I always have a choice.  Authority isn't a license to practice being a dictator.  Dictators don't give you a choice; it's "do it or else."  But authority speaks boldly and says, "I know what I'm talking about; please let me guide you."  

If you recall the above-stated definition, authority influences people, it doesn't order people around. We choose whether we want to surrender ourselves to their guidance or not.  I choose to surrender and pray that my surrender to earthly authorities will strengthen my submission to God's authority in my spiritual and physical life.  

Oh how I wish that people could see the difference between authority and control.  For our sake, but also for the sake of honoring those who God is shaping for His ministry and purpose.  If we were all able to respect those that God has established, imagine how much more effective those servants would be for God and for His people.  

But how do I do all this without looking like I'm some push-over?  Cause heaven knows I'm not.  I've got the stubborn will of a mule sometimes.  Oh well, I guess that's a topic for another day...